“They looked at each other, baffled, in love and hate.”
Friendships are one of, if not the, most important aspects of our lives. Ever since our earliest days stepping up the evolutionary chain, humans have been deeply social creatures that have not only leaned on our ability to communicate for physical survival but also emotionally. However, friendships are two-way streets and not every relationship is as healthy as it should be. ‘Toxic friendship’ is the term used to describe relationships that are lop-sided with one person being emotionally abused by another.
These relationships can raise blood pressure, increase stress and impact mental health, so we here at What We Reading thought we would bring you 8 great books about toxic friendships!
Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? – Julie Smith
Acclaimed author, clinical psychologist and TikTok sensation Dr Julie Smith give readers one of the most complete guides to the matters of life in Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?
In her debut book, Smith leans on all her years of expertise to coach readers through the obstacles everyday life brings, whilst also teaching them how to gain better control of their emotional and mental well-being. Filled with expert coping mechanisms and ways of fortifying mental health, readers will gain a psychologist-level of insight into managing anxiety, resentment, and criticism on the path to gaining self-confidence. It really is one of the best personal development books on the shelves right now.
Cat’s Eye – Margaret Atwood
Margaret Atwood’s 1988 novel Cat’s Eye remains one of the defining works on toxic relationships, exploring how retrospect and time can give old friendships an entirely different look from those held when we were younger.
The book follows a controversial painter named Elaine Risley who returns to her hometown of Toronto to have a retrospective look at her old pieces of art. Triggered by the memories they bring back, she is whisked back to her childhood where resentment, longing, betrayal and friendship all left wounds that still haven’t all healed. A touching and beautiful story about growth and compassion, Cat’s Eye remains one of the most acclaimed works in the genre.
We Used To Be Friends – Amy Spalding
An innovative and eye-opening young adult book from acclaimed author Amy Spalding, We Used To Be Friends is a story of two friends who grow up – and grow apart – as time passes between them.
The original set-up of this 2020 book about toxic friendship is centred around dual timelines, with half of the novel split to time going forward and the other half on it going backwards. Its core theme of childhood besties drifting apart is something all readers can relate to, and the skill with which Spalding is able to go from humour to heartbreak is masterfully executed.
The Things We Do To Our Friends – Heather Darwent
A mesmerisingly suspenseful debut from author Heather Darwent, The Things We Do to Our Friends is a tale of obsession, competition and the lengths people will go to in order to be one of the ‘haves’.
Set in Edinburgh, the book follows university student Clare as she arrives in the cobbled city hoping to make a new life for herself. There, she meets the sophisticated and charismatic Tabitha and her group of friends. She is pulled into their life of glamour, art and summers spent in France, but it doesn’t take long for Clare to realise just how far and how toxic these people will go to get what they want.
Passing – Nella Larsen
First published all the way back in 1929, Passing is a powerful and important historical novel that tackles both toxic relationships and the wider issues of race and identity that continue to haunt contemporary society.
The book follows Irene and Claire, two girls who were inseparable as children and who reunite as adults in Harlem. To Irene’s dismay, however, she discovers that her friend tolerates her husband’s racism and is attempting to ‘pass’ as white. The pair’s relationship continues to deteriorate as suspicion and resentment grow, leading to a potential betrayal that will spell the end of the friendship for good.
Toxic Friendships – Suzanne Degges-White And Judy Pochel Van Tieghem
Toxic Friendships: Knowing the Rules and Dealing with the Friends Who Break Them is the 2015 collaboration between Suzanne Degges-White and Judy Pochel Van Tieghem. In one of the best books about toxic friendships that combines practical psychology with real stories from different women of different ages and walks of life.
This nonfiction work is a great guide on the values and rules that make up healthy relationships at different points across life, explaining what makes a good friend and how a reader can identify a bad one. With this book, readers are able to gain a sense of when a relationship is worth working at keeping afloat, and when it might be time to cut ties.
Lord Of The Flies – William Golding
An absolutely timeless classic novel that is still as relevant today as it was when it was first published in 1954, Lord of the Flies is about a group of boys who land on a deserted island following a plane crash.
One of the best explorations into social hierarchies and how group dynamics, the tale of Ralph, Jack, Piggy and Simon is a haunting look at how relationships can deteriorate to devastating under pressure. The location might be exotic, but the chemistry at play in this dystopian classic is enough for any contemporary reader to draw a comparison.
The Girls – Emma Cline
Nominated for Best Fiction in the 2016 Goodreads award and for the John Leonard Award, Emma Cline’s The Girls is set in sunny California during the turbulent final years of the 1960s. The book follows Evie Boyd, a shy and thoughtful girl who is taken under the wing of a group of a carefree older group led by the mesmerising Suzanne.
This historical fiction book is a beautifully-written take on what effective control and isolation can have when it comes to toxic relationships. With Evie becoming enthralled by an infamous cult living in an old ranch hidden in the hills, her existing relationships evaporate and she begins to see firsthand the potentially deadly lengths these people will make her go.
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Part-time reader, part-time rambler, and full-time Horror enthusiast, James has been writing for What We Reading since 2022. His earliest reading memories involved Historical Fiction, Fantasy and Horror tales, which he has continued to take with him to this day. James’ favourite books include The Last (Hanna Jameson), The Troop (Nick Cutter) and Chasing The Boogeyman (Richard Chizmar).
