Hilary Giovale is the acclaimed novelist behind Becoming a Good Relative, a poignant and heartfelt reflection on her ancestry as a ninth-generation descendant of American settlers. To celebrate the release of Becoming a Good Relative, What We Reading sat down with Hilary to discuss everything from her hopes of inspiring more equitable and sustainable movements within readers, the process of writing such a life-affirming read, and her love for feminist historian Max Dashú!
Thanks for speaking with us, Hilary! First off, tell us a bit about yourself and what led you to the world of writing.
Thanks for your interest in my work! I’m a mother of two, community organizer, facilitator, and reparative philanthropist. For over thirty years, I have lived on Hopi, Havasupai, Diné, Hualapai, Apache, Yavapai, Paiute, and Pueblo land in Flagstaff, Arizona. One of the prominent features of this landscape is a sacred mountain of kinship. The mountain is a female being that has been revered by the Indigenous Peoples of this region since the beginning of time.
In 2016, I received a diloggún divination from Yeye Luisah Teish. During the reading, she said my ancestors were whispering in her ear about a book I had written. When I replied that I hadn’t written a book, she said I needed to get out of the way so the book could emerge. She generously gave me a few writing prompts and a deadline. The content of the “already written book” had been nudging me for some time. I will always be grateful to Yeye Teish. It was her guidance and encouragement that gave me the courage to begin.
Talk to us about Becoming a Good Relative. What is it about, what are some of the key themes and how was the process of writing it?
Becoming a Good Relative shares personal stories about the realization that I am descended from colonizers and enslavers. When this information found me at age 40, I was shocked. Until that moment, my white conditioning had led me to believe that those histories had nothing to do with me. For the first time, it dawned on me that I am a ninth-generation settler. Most of my ancestors immigrated to this continent from the Scottish Highlands, Ireland, Germany, England, and France.
The book includes themes such as settler colonization (and decolonization), divesting from whiteness and systemic white supremacy, the healing that can emerge from cross-cultural relationships, historical trauma, ancestral healing, reparative philanthropy, land rematriation, and dismantling patriarchy from the inside out. It was largely informed by spending time alone on the land, as well as my dreams and intuition. I also researched my ancestors’ histories and the history of the United States/Turtle Island (as it is known in many Indigenous oral histories).
The process of writing the book took nine years, and I often felt that the book was writing me throughout those years. I felt that I had received an ancestral assignment to write this book, and my duty was to listen, question everything I’d been taught as a white person, allow myself to change, and carve out the time to write it all down. I also sought feedback on the manuscript from over 60 astute readers who refined my thinking and helped me see things differently. Writing this book has been the most challenging and rewarding experience of my life so far.
The book includes a foreword by African-American author and Elder Yeye Teish and closing words by Diné musician and scientist Dr. Lyla June Johnston. I’m honored that these brilliant women offered their words to accompany mine. I hope this conveys how people of all Colors and Cultures can weave ourselves together. We are all stronger when we put our hearts and hands together in unity.
What is the number one goal you want your work to have with readers?
From my perspective, white silence upholds white supremacy. I chose to break my own silence in this book as a loving, compassionate invitation to my white settler kin. I believe each of us has a version of this work that is uniquely ours to be discovered and embraced. I hope that my story can unlock doors for readers to find their own pathways toward creating a better future for humankind, all our relations, and our beloved planet.
What do you think makes you stand out as an author?
I am not a professional writer. This book emerged from a different motivation – it was propelled by curiosity, spiritual guidance, and a wish to be of service to healing the environmental and social harms of colonialism. Along the way, I experienced how heartfelt stories can heal trauma. I shared my story as a humble offering to our collective healing.
All the income I receive from book sales will be returned to the Decolonizing Wealth Project and Jubilee Justice. For the book to be authentic and impactful, the royalties must be given to BIPOC-led organizations dedicated to healing people and the land.
What would you say has been your biggest success so far?
When the book finds its way into the hands of those who have been needing such a book without realizing it, my goal has been reached. Readers have contacted me and shared different versions of that experience: “This book carries a message I have been longing for, but I didn’t have the words to explain my longing.” Some readers have shared that they made personal reparations plans and returned land or money to Indigenous and Black communities. My intention and my prayer in putting this book into the world is that it will be guided where it needs to go, and that it will be of service.
If you could go back in time to one book you read for the first time, what would it be and why?
This question is hard to answer because there are so many books I love! But the first book that comes to mind is Witches and Pagans: Women in European Folk Religion, 700-1100 by independent feminist historian Max Dashú. When I first read this book, I was filled with relief and joy. It gave me a visceral sense that my ancestors were once Earth-honoring and spiritually connected people. They were not always colonizers and enslavers. In fact, they endured centuries of colonization, war, hunger, and oppression from patriarchal religious institutions before they arrived on these shores as refugees. Drawing on their ancestral languages, Max’s book details what is still known about women’s folk practices from throughout the continent of Europe. They included Earth- and water-honoring rituals that were designed to ensure good health and vitality for entire communities and the land.
What’s one tip you would give your younger self if you had the opportunity?
I would encourage my younger self to trust herself and listen to her intuition.
And finally, what do you hope the future holds for you and your writing?
At this moment, in the United States, many communities are terrified. Honest, intelligent, talented, loving, and hardworking people are receiving the message that they don’t matter and they don’t belong here. Climate change is threatening our safety and stability. Wealth disparity is increasing. At the same time, the ugly realities of settler colonialism, white supremacy, greed, toxic masculinity, and American exceptionalism are on full display for all the world to see.
In the classes I teach and the networks to which I belong, I’m sensing that people need more community, care, generosity, and compassion. I hope that Becoming a Good Relative and my future writings can offer words of solace and spark communities of belonging during this challenging time. Most of all, I hope that my writing sparks meaningful change toward equitable and sustainable lifeways for future generations.
Follow Hilary and all of her work on her website and Instagram
Part-time reader, part-time rambler, and full-time Horror enthusiast, James has been writing for What We Reading since 2022. His earliest reading memories involved Historical Fiction, Fantasy and Horror tales, which he has continued to take with him to this day. James’ favourite books include The Last (Hanna Jameson), The Troop (Nick Cutter) and Chasing The Boogeyman (Richard Chizmar).
